Dual....:-)
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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