so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize