when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
