ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
