I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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