Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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