You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize