found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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