Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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