its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
