I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
