i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
