whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
