Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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