"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I AM VODKA MAN
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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