Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize