I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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