making cat noises will not fix the situation.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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