And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
