I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
