WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
