Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
