I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
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