They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
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