i jhust puked up my retainher.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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