I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
