You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
