you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I have aggressive nipples.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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