New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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