just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
