Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
