Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
