he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
