Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
