South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Btw I puked in your glovebox
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize