Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
