so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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