he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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