someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
