How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
