pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
