U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
last night I used snow as a chaser
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
