I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
