He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
my poor anus
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
