rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
