I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
