Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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