I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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