i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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