32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
high people should be assigned attendants
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
