Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
