evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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