google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
