Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
