Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
