Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
