Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
