nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
