I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
