who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
