this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
