i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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