dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
