HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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