We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
