Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
