I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
her vagine was all disorganized.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
